Holding on to the Faithfulness of God

My journey in the last year has been a whirlwind of emotions, but one thing that has been consistent in my life is my love of Christ and entering into a phase of understanding his faithfulness. 

Faithfulness, it is a word you’ll read probably too often, but it is about showcasing his faithfulness not only in the beautiful chapter seven and eight of Deuteronomy but also what faithfulness means to me in my life. 

What is the faithfulness of God? Deuteronomy 32:4 says, “The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.” ESV. Personally, God’s faithfulness to me is knowing that the Lord always keeps his covenant with His people, even if we don’t understand or trust in it.

If you had asked me a year ago, where do you think you’ll be in a year’s time? I’d probably say, in my job, seeing the growth and transformation of my team, continuing to be  happy in my marriage and the continued growth in my kids. If you asked me, what about my relationship with God, I probably would have responded with, ‘what about it? It’s good, He’s telling me to visit Israel and that’s what I’m preparing myself to do.’ I had no idea that Israel was going to be the game changer in my relationship with the Lord and I thank Him for prompting me to go when I did. If someone told me all the obstacles I was going to face before today, honestly, I would have stayed on the peripheral of my relationship with Christ, because I would have been uncomfortable with the things I had to face. However as we know in Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”NKJV.

When I think about the Israelites and the journey they were about to embark on before entering the Promised Land that the Lord had given to them. They had to go through a lot of preparation to get them to that point before the Lord said, it’s time to take the Land. I wonder when we reflect on our own journeys did we recognise that the Lord was preparing us for something that would be amazing? I can tell you now, I didn’t realise it and neither did the Israelites. They were spiritually impaired because they didn’t know who God truly was. They knew He was this awesome God that could send plagues to get them out of trouble (Exodus chapters 7 - 12), and He showed his marvelous power when they saw the parting of the Red Sea. They must of thought, wow we don’t need to do anything, God can get us out of trouble whenever we need Him. How many of us thought like that in the beginning of our salvation? I don’t know about you but in the beginning of my salvation whenever I called upon the Lord he helped me right where I needed him. But guess what, He’s not a genie in the bottle, He called us to serve him as we are His chosen people (1 Peter 2:9), just like the Israelites. The shameful thing is, the Israelites didn’t recognise who they were in the Lord, a chosen people/nation (Deut 7:6) and so therefore, because they didn’t recognise who they were, they didn’t know who God was to them. Hence we see in their prolonged journey the issues they encounter before they get to the promised land. They were unwilling to submit to God, to His Almighty Power, to His awesomeness, to the One who took them out of the bondages of Egypt. How many times have we been impatient in the Lord and not submitted our Will to the Him who is all knowing? Before you know it, we are going around in circles in the wilderness before we actually get to the promises of the Lord. How much time do we waste in circling - would it not have been easier if we submitted to him from the first time before we started to trust in our own strength rather than just trust in the Lord? Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all yours ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct your paths.”

I say it would have been easier, but who am I kidding, we are people and people are fickle. The Israelites forgot all the miracles that the Lord had shown them, instead all they did was complain, distrust and disbelieve God. Even when the Lord sent out the 12 spies to spy out the Land and they returned with reports of what the Lord said “it truly flows with milk and honey and this is its fruit.” Numbers 13:27. They reported the truth of the Lord however, 10 out of the 12 were more fearful about taking what the Lord had promised - so why did they continue to doubt the Faithfulness of God? because they didn’t know who he was/is!

Israel

A year ago, I was gearing myself up to go to Israel for the very first time. I recall the time I made the decision it was in January 2023; actually if I am truly honest, the very first time I wanted to go to Israel was in September 2010 - I was attending a particular church at the time which visited Israel every year. For about 2 years, I had a desire to ago; but just like my walk in Christ so was my dreams about attending the Holy land, it drifted away.

I eventually came back to the Lord in the year of 2020 and then the desire to visit the Holy Land reappeared in January 2023. I knew at that moment the Lord was calling for me to go on my own, although my Husband and my father suggested I go with my mother, I knew it was just for me and me alone. I recall experiencing concern for my safety from others, and I had to remind people that the Lord was not going to allow me to go to Israel for me to die - that wouldn’t make sense, I’m going because he wanted to show me something or reveal something to me. I was determined, because I knew the he wanted me to go. Little did I know the spiritual impact it would have on my life. 

Thinking about the 12 spies that were sent out to spy on the Promise Land, as mentioned only 2 out of the 12 people held onto the promises of God, the remaining 10 were fearful of what they saw and didn’t believe they would survive - thus corrupting the rest of the Israelites with the same negative views. 

The two spies didn’t know everything that they would face, but they saw the faithfulness of God throughout their lives, and knew the hand of God; Why would God send them into the Promise Land for them to perish once they arrived? That would go against everything the Lord had promised Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Now I’m not likening my experience with the negative comments, to those who didn’t want to take the Promise Land however, it is very clear that when you know the Lord has told you to do something, it doesn’t matter how many doubters you have around you, we should still hold on to the promises of God and trust that the Lord knows what he is doing. I didn’t know what I would be in for but I knew the Lord wanted to show me something in Israel.

I finally arrived in Israel joining a tour group which was largely made of Americans, a Swiss couple and me being the only Brit. We travelled to so many places of the Bible such as; Caesarea, Mt Carmel, Nazareth, Meggido, Capernaum, Caesarea Philippi, Mt of Beatitudes, Sea of Galilee, Jordan River, Beth Shean, Dead Sea, Erin Gedi, Jerusalem, Upper Room, Pool of Bethesda, Mt of Olives, Garden of Gethsemane, House of Caiaphas, Golgotha, Garden Tomb, and Bethlehem.

Being in Israel was a life changing experience and whilst I know most Christian’s don’t get to experience Israel, I would say if you can, do it and don’t delay. I understood the meaning of depending on God for everything. I have life threatening allergies, so my dependency on God was critical. And even in an unfortunate situation where my allergies had flared up, the Lord showed himself in that moment to be faithful and true. The trip highlighted to me where I was in the Lord and thus, where I wanted to be. By the end of that trip I knew I no longer wanted to be in my career, much less the company. I knew I wanted to help people in some kind of way, I didn’t know what - I just knew I wanted to be a kingdom builder for the Lord. If someone asked me what was the specific turning point in my life, when did things change in my relationship with the Lord, I’d probably attribute it to the baptism in the Jordan river. Whilst I have been baptised before many years ago, there was something about doing it on that trip that I believe change the course of my spiritual walk forever. Initially, I just thought getting baptised in the river that Christ did would be an exciting moment. However, when I walked towards the river, the spirit of the Lord was with me and I just felt his glorious presence. When I came out of the river I was extremely emotional and was praying within my soul. I recalled standing next to someone who was trying to say something but I had to move away and just began to pray, at that moment, His Holy Spirit just poured out over me and I just gave my Father a shout of praise! 

Throughout my trip I started to spend more and more time with the Lord and by the time it was time for me to return home to the UK, I burst into tears and cried for hours! I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want to leave what felt like to me the closest thing I could get to Heaven, I didn’t want to leave Jesus. Whilst I knew Jesus is with me wherever I go, I just did not want to leave Israel; There was something else, I knew deep down, I was going to encounter something, I didn’t know what it would be, but it would mean what I learned in Israel to depend on Him, would have to be my daily life going forward. It was the start of stripping the world away from me and I had to learn to give it over to Him. Starting with revealing what was in my heart and learning humility. 

Deuteronomy 8:12-20 “lest—when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; who led you through that great and terrible wilderness, in which were fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty land where there was no water; who brought water for you out of the flinty rock; who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end— then you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.’ “And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. Then it shall be, if you by any means forget the Lord your God, and follow other gods, and serve them and worship them, I testify against you this day that you shall surely perish. As the nations which the Lord destroys before you, so you shall perish, because you would not be obedient to the voice of the Lord your God.” NKJV

Work

Deuteronomy 7:1-2 - “When the Lord your God brings you into the land which you go to possess, and has cast out many nations before you, the Hittites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than you, and when the Lord your God delivers them over to  you, you shall conquer them and utterly destroy them. You shall make no covenant with them nor show mercy to them.” 

Now when you read this, can you think of anything mighty and scary currently in your life that you are trying to overcome? What about in your past, can you remember when you had to confront something mighty and scary before and you overcame it with God’s help? When we face daunting challenges we often forget where God has taken us from, we get so fixated on the situation or circumstance we forget the countless miracles God performed or forget to call down scriptures into our situation. 1 John 5:4-5 says “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” NKJV.

I have to be honest when I returned back to work and faced a mammoth of a situation, I had forgotten where God had taken me from - in fact, I forgot all what God had shown me in Israel and focused on my circumstance. I experienced behaviours from people in my place of work which I had never experienced before, and whilst I confronted those behaviours it never stopped. I was incredibly unhappy and somewhat depressed. 

Have you been in a situation where you have been so unhappy and depressed, what did you do to get out of it? How did the Lord help you through it? I remember at times I would cry in the office and at home however, I still found the strength to listen to Gospel music, specifically worship songs on the commute, or read God’s word, listen to a sermon or motivational sermons via YouTube. There were days I would pray, didn’t pray enough or didn’t pray at all. However through it all, God was there, I just forgot that he was. 

After months had passed I found I was no longer sad, depressed or in tears - I was angry but not how I know myself to be angry, it was a godly anger, I had a fire burning within me and I was ready to fight. Psalms 4:4 says “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah” NKJV

I didn’t know where that fight would lead me too and I guess I was in denial that I would not have employment after. I mean why would the Lord allow it so I that I am unemployed, after all he gave me strength during my weaknesses. But that is what happened, I was unemployed few months later. Now to the world, what I did was foolish because as we all know, we have to pay bills, right? True! Nevertheless, I am not of the world, I am a citizen of Heaven and therefore, my trust is not in the world, it is in my saviour Jesus Christ. John 17:14-19 “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.”NKJV

I would soon come to realise that friends who were in the world or people I knew in Christ did not understand my walk in Him, and why would they, the awareness of where God was taking me would not be revealed to them, thus the lack of understanding. 

Let’s think about the Israelites again, can we honestly say we would not be in the remaining ten people out of the twelve who would be frightened about the possibility of facing giants and taking the promise land from those who are mightier - of course you would. Just like there would be those who would oppose the idea of me going against the business that pays my bills. Like I said, if I knew before I went to Israel what would happen, I never would have gone ahead with the decisions that were taken. But I went into the decision with faith not knowing the outcome and although it didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, God knows why, and now so do I. 

The Wilderness

Deuteronomy 7:6 says, “For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth.” NKJV

I’m so thankful to the Lord that he has chosen me to be His - Jesus says in John 15:16 “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.” Throughout my time during the “wilderness” I don’t think I knew I would be in the isolation period for as long as I have been. Like the Israelites, the Lord was trying to show them in their time during the “wilderness” that there were things in their heart that needed to be given to God - they still hung on to what “used to be” during their time in Egypt. And because of their murmuring and ungratefulness, God made it so they circled the desert for 40 years; the first generation, didn’t grasp the why they were wondering around, and the Lord made sure they never saw the Promise Land. Let’s think about today, I don’t want to be in the “wilderness” for longer than I need to be and I would rather use that time to seek the Lord fervently than to use it as a time of luxury. I think we can all agree “time out” isn’t luxury, it is about getting closer to the Lord.

During my time of “wilderness” the Lord had given me the gift of time, time to spend with him, the kind of time I wasn’t giving him before when I was working. He gave me a love for his word, and as I started to read, I realised I had a love of study. My relationship with the Lord was growing. 

I started listening to an American Evangelist during my “wilderness” and he happened to have a revival on at the time, it went on for 10 days and I was blessed by every session watching it via YouTube. The Lord filled me with the power of speaking in tongues, and set me on a healing journey of things that I endured in my past. He started me on a purification journey. I recall there being a time where I was cleaning my apartment in a frenzy over a course of two days, a type of cleaning I wouldn’t normally do, so much so my husband thought it strange and questioned it. I remember asking the Lord why I was cleaning so much, and the Lord made me to know, the deep cleaning I was doing, was the type of cleaning he was doing in my heart, he was purifying my heart!

The Lord moved so much in my life that he was stripping more of the world off me. I realised that by the end of 2023, I no longer desired the things I used to crave for e.g. TV shows, films and other things I knew was a distraction to my salvation. I just wanted more of Him, as John 3:30 says “He must increase, but I must decrease.” And that continues to be the desires of my Heart.

As my love for reading His word grew, so did my study for his word. I came across another American Evangelist who I call my spiritual grandfather, where I noticed he did several study courses on his website and I stumbled across a study called The 52 Greatest Chapters which has been a great blessing to me so far in 2024.

Deuteronomy 7:12-16 says, “Then it shall come to pass, because you listen to these judgments, and keep and do them, that the Lord your God will keep with you the covenant and the mercy which He swore to your fathers. And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you. You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock. And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and will afflict you with none of the terrible diseases of Egypt which you have known, but will lay them on all those who hate you. Also you shall destroy all the peoples whom the Lord your God delivers over to you; your eye shall have no pity on them; nor shall you serve their gods, for that will be a snare to you.“ NKJV.

I love that irrespective of the Israelites disobedience, the Lord still kept true to his Word and the covenant with their fathers; Abraham, Issac and Jacob. He showed them His promises so they had something tangible to hold on to. He showed them no matter their disobedience, misgivings or rebellion the promise was still made available. Despite earlier we see their blessing was delayed, it was still obtainable because our God is not man who should lie, Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”

2024

As we entered into 2024 I experienced a blow to my emotions, a type of blow I thought I could only experience in a relationship with a partner, but actually this pain was in a friendship of 12/13 years. The thing about the Lord is when He is pruning you and stripping you of the world, He will also strip away relationships; we may not understand why but God knows why. John 15:2 “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” NKJV

I was devastated by this breakup, this was a friendship I believed would last forever however, upon reflection the Lord knew how I was feeling when I encountered questionable moments; and though there were times deep down I knew it was coming to an end - I still clung on. We question why certain things happen - but the thing is we don’t see what the Lord sees. He sees all, so we have to trust the Lord and accept what has happened. Doesn’t mean you won’t feel the pain - this was a devastating time in my life, but I knew the Lord had his reasons, and so I clung onto the faithfulness of God, because he had never let me down.

The Lord has revealed so much to me about His Word, he speaks to me about small things concerning my daily life and I trust him to be obedient to what He tells me. Now I want to caveat that with, I’m not always obedient, I may delay in being obedient. So what does that look like? Well I may find I prefer to be in my bed rather than waking up in the middle of the night to pray, I then realise later that day why he prompted me to wake up. But it still doesn’t stop Him from being Lord in my life. He makes He’s Holy presence known to me, some of you may know what I’m talking about when I say I feel a breeze on my face and this breeze is not coming from an open door or windows - It’s his Holy Spirit. He makes me aware that he is in the room with me and I love it! Is it consistent, no, I don’t feel it all day, every day - however, I will say, I have felt His presence the entire time I’ve been writing this account of my life.

I am by no means perfect, and the Lord is not looking for perfection; but he is looking for a willing heart, that loves Him, trusts in Him, wants to know Him and please Him in everything we do.

So what am I doing now you ask? Well, I’m currently supporting in several groups at church. Before Israel, I would attend church, and leave straight after, I would have never considered joining a group let alone multiple. 

What season am I now in? I’m in the season of encouragement- currently encouraging those who the Lord tells me to encourage in their faith. He has also told me to start writing what he puts on my heart to write which has now brought me to this blogging space. I’m not sure where this will lead or what the Lord has planned but, I can confidently say I am holding onto the Faithfulness of God!

Deuteronomy 7:19 - 20 says “the great trials which your eyes saw, the signs and the wonders, the mighty hand and the outstretched arm, by which the Lord your God brought you out. So shall the Lord your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid. NKJV

Whatever he has planned for our lives, it is not the Lord that delays the promises because he wants to, but it is because of us, it may be because of our disobedience, unbelief, laziness  etc - whatever the situation, we should always trust in God and not our own desires because our Father is faithful and He always provides, there’s always provision - he knows all things, he knows what we need before we even ask. He is omniscient, He is omnipresent, He is sovereign and he rules on high - there is no one next to him, above him or equal to him! He is Holy, and all the glory goes to him! He knows what he is doing, we just need to trust him and give him our life in totality! 

I hope when you read Deuteronomy chapter seven and eight it will bless you as much as it blessed me!

Thank you Jesus! Amen x