“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.” Psalms 34:15
You’ll have noticed from the blog “Holding onto the faithfulness of God” that I have been unemployed for a while; and during my time of wilderness the Lord always directed my thoughts to the trip in Israel, because I had no choice but to depend on Him. How I started writing, blogging and now vlogging is no coincidence - it is through my dependency on God and being obedient to what he tells me, why I am here today!
I’ve said it before in a previous blog and I’ll say it again, I don’t write until the Lord tells me to write and I don’t do until He tells me to do. That is how I want and choose to live my life, to be instructed by God. I don’t always obey, I’m not perfect and until the Lord takes me home, I suppose I’ll never get it right whilst I’m in this sinful body; just like Abraham, just like Moses, just like David and a like - these people have shown us that they were not perfect but they still loved the Lord. Romans 7:19-20 “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.”
I recall stumbling across a conversation my husband was having with family members, which I only caught the tail end of, and it was about me looking for a job. Bless my husband, he like always has my back however, I didn’t like the judgemental tones that I picked up in that call, and quite frankly, I was hurt by it. Nonetheless, I understand people only make judgements and assumptions on things when they don’t have the full picture.
Within my heart I felt low, and for the first time since entering into this new season of blogging/vlogging I questioned if I should look for something, I caught myself and knew I was going against what God had said specifically to me. However, I couldn’t shake the judgemental tone; I then remembered conversations with my husband about how I came to write, blog, and now vlog. Therefore, I knew he heard me say, I don’t move unless God tells me too, however, my husband is not saved and probably wouldn’t have thought to say that in my defence to those who ask about my situation.
But guess what, God saw it all - He saw the thoughts and conversations that is had about His child not working, he saw how I felt about being judged, the thoughts I said in my heart and at that time feeling restricted that I couldn’t put people straight and explain where I am in my spiritual walk with the Lord, "for His eyes are on the ways of man, and He sees all his steps." Job 34:21
Fast forward a week later, my husband had a dream, he had told me the following: he and I had our palms together and I was praying to God. I seemed to have been elevated a little bit off the floor, there was a gush of wind and God spoke through the wind. My husband had his EarPods in his ears so he couldn’t hear what was said but he knew God had spoke. Whilst I was praying, I asked God a question (husband couldn’t remember the question) and He responded, I then said, “ok, God said….” And my husband had interrupted me to say, “he knows, he heard Him.” For whatever reason, I had asked something of God again, and within the gush of wind, God spoke again. Once I received the direction, my feet was back on the floor and then I told my husband, “right, I need to do…” my husband woke up. I knew God gave my husband that dream, but I couldn’t think what the message meant.
“With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles.”… 2 Chronicles 32:8.
Upon spending time with the Lord, the following day, I asked about the dream and it came to me. God wanted to reveal to my husband, who I was in the Lord, what my relationship with God is - that I don’t move unless I listen to His instructions. Therefore, if anyone was to ask my husband about why I was not looking for a job or anything pertaining to that, he is to share the dream and follow up with, she will move when God says.
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
There might be some of you who only move unless God tells you to move, or you’re waiting on something that you know the Lord has told you to depend on him for; and to those in your life it doesn’t make sense - remember, that’s okay if it doesn’t make sense to others “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”” Isaiah 55:8-9
So, don’t lose heart, don’t question God, just know that He will work it out and if people don’t understand, that too, is okay! God will speak to close the mouths of those the enemy is using to deter or knock you off course. Just focus on your obedience to Him. 1 Samuel 15:22 ”So Samuel said: “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams.” Amen x